Edit - After the Battle

[alonso ramoran]

Hi dukealien, couple comments

After the Battle


Six slim, straight yellow sticks
stood thrilling in bright greensward Not a fan of the sonic transition from "duh" to "thruh" in the highlighted parts, nor am I a fan of the word "thrilling" in how it's used. Maybe quivering instead? ("quiver" could also reinforce war imagery)
nearly cloth-yard long and none
quite vertical— as if
master archers had released
their like in volleys over fields, Maybe add an adjective to "fields" that hints towards a suburban lawn but still fits the description of a field before battle? 
these few having found no flesh
of horse or man, and so remained. Other than my above comments I like the direction this poem is heading in, drawing similarities between running for election and violent warfare.

They seemed to stand
in pairs, and lacked for feathers I don't think there's a comma needed here as well as the "for"
having up to last Election Day 
been spanned with advertising I think "advertising" should be "advertisement"
posters for a mayoral or school board
candidate, which boys who stuck them there
have now removed on pain of law.

I would reorder the above stanza as the following. I apologize if I missed something that could affect this suggestion:

They seemed to stand 
in pairs and lacked feathers, 
having been spanned with advertisement 
posters for a mayoral or school board 
candidate, up to last Election Day; 
boys who stuck them there have now
removed on pain of law.

Better wars of votes than roses
or a hundred years, boys planting signs I'd add an "of" before boys.
than planting boys. Nice finish.

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This is an ekphrastic poem.  To view with the associated image, please see here.

Nicely done ekphrastic, thanks for the read

Best, Alex