First Edit: Natural Temptation

[Knot]

Hi Richard

Natural Temptation
- Not a fan of this, perhaps
'until the end' or something
that evokes the 'dark forest'?

I promised to hold your hand until the end,
both of us entering a dark forest:
- perhaps 'as we' for 'both of us' ?
'the dark forest' ?
birches wearing moonlight,
- excellent line.
their shine angelic, mesmerizing,
until clouds turn pines dark
- perhaps 'the pines' ?
and 'black' for 'dark' ?
as your saddest dress.

Soon, I'll have to carry you,
as we approach the other side,
[and] my steps will count as two,
but no one keeps a ledger for such things;
- 'ledger of such' (to avoid repetition of 'for')
alternatively,
keeps such things in a ledger ?
the same is true for the number of times
I've considered letting go of you.
- terrific ending.
Slight nit with S2 is the number of /oo/ sounds.
(soon/you/two/true/you)


Best, Knot.