A Date

[alonso ramoran]

Hi kaos, couple comments below

Now that I think about it,
I probably have never experienced life the way I should. 
Free of any adulterants, isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
But I haven’t been doing that, is it over for me?
When I was a child.
I was doing what any child should have. I would omit everything from this line up and start at "They dragged me..."
Until they dragged me by my coattails, to that circle infernal,
and summoned before my eyes, demons all internal. I'm not a fan of this inconsistent rhyme scheme you have going on. Esp. when it's contorting your syntax e.g. "circle infernal", "demons all internal". Inner demons is a cliche as well, perhaps you can get around it better in your next edit? 
Afraid, I ran like anyone would have.
Mortified, I hid before them.
Proud, I was too shy to say it as it was,
Loud, too obvious to be subtle. I actually sorta like the sequence of this line and the above three
The teenage years are fated to be lost,
perhaps I never understood that integral cost,
I kept adding strong structures, hoping they would stick, no comma needed at the end of this line
on a base made of paper, jerking myself to forget your lick. This line made me laugh... this is another issue I have with your poem--I'm not exactly sure what's the tone you're going for. It's trying hard to "poeticize" masturbating by rhyming the line's final word with stick.
The brief sliver of adulthood I have been granted,
Feels wasted even before I received,
Drugs, psychotropic and exotic, swim in my stream,
I thought I was awake, but it was all a dream. Cliche
Now I am as much a stranger as a babe just born,
As much an amateur as that beginner forlorn,
As new as that slowly creeping morn,
But still clichéd, as the word torn in this rhyme scheme. I see what you're doing here with saying how torn is cliched in the rhyme scheme... you're implying you were gonna say something like you were torn? You might as well have said it. There is no rhyme scheme here so "morn" was unnecessary (nor would I believe it to be necessary in a rhyme scheme, it's a very forced word) as well as used within a cliched simile with run-of-the-mill adjectives. So to the reader, it sounds like you're trying to give the poem an edge of self-awareness by only honing it on tree bark.
Now I am suddenly aware of my misgivings,
in the whole of life and its many intricacies. "Life's intricacies" hackneyed. Go into detail about life's intricacies
And like the only other thing which has given me regret,
Her, I feel it’s insurmountable, the ever increasing debt. What debt?
Will both my quandaries resolve themselves?
If I correct the other… Lines like these that ponder are no use to the poem. That's for the writer... images are what the reader wants. 
But is that another mistake my mind has made?
For even in the little wisdom I have, failure spreads it odour. What type of odour?
Either I reject life, along with you, and everyone else,
and stop subjecting myself to this cursed fate.
But if I vanish how will I know?
If finally you agree to date,
Me… Not sure why this word is isolated, is it for tone? See my comments on L16. When rewriting, I would also try not capitalizing every beginning letter of a line unless necessary (like the beginning of a sentence), it jars the reading. Edit: actually I see you stuck to those rules in some areas, but in others you abandon those rules. Why the inconsistency?

Looking back over my critique, it seems a bit harsh, but it is not meant to discourage you. In short, I simply ask you try boiling it down to just the images and ask your audience to lend some thought, otherwise you're asking them to lend their sympathy.

Best, Alex