A Date

[Richard]

Hey kaos,
I think my biggest suggestions would be to prune down on some of the language and expand on some of your images. I'll go into more detail below:

Now that I think about it, -You don't need this first line. There's a poem here, so it's implied that you have thought about it.
I probably have never experienced life the way I should. -This would make a stronger first line than the previous one.
Free of any adulterants, isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
But I haven’t been doing that, is it over for me?
When I was a child.
I was doing what any child should have. -I would suggest rewording this or the previous line. The repetition of "child" feels unnecessary to me.
Until they dragged me by my coattails, to that circle infernal,
and summoned before my eyes, demons all internal. -The best I can get from this is something to do with church. I could be wrong, but the image in this and the previous line could be clearer.
Afraid, I ran like anyone would have.
Mortified, I hid before them.
Proud, I was too shy to say it as it was,
Loud, too obvious to be subtle. -I think you should cut the words: "afraid," "mortified," "proud," and "loud" from these four lines. Let the images speak for themselves, rather than telling the reader exactly how the speaker feels.  
The teenage years are fated to be lost, -A sad, but true statement for most.
perhaps I never understood that integral cost,
I kept adding strong structures, hoping they would stick,
on a base made of paper, jerking myself to forget your lick. -The phrase "jerking myself" seems like a masturbation reference. Was that your intention?
The brief sliver of adulthood I have been granted,
Feels wasted even before I received,
Drugs, psychotropic and exotic, swim in my stream, -I feel like the images of drugs and psychotropic could be expanded on a lot more.
I thought I was awake, but it was all a dream.
Now I am as much a stranger as a babe just born,
As much an amateur as that beginner forlorn,
As new as that slowly creeping morn,
But still clichéd, as the word torn in this rhyme scheme. -The word "torn" should have quotation marks around it or be in italics. It took me numerous reads to understand this line.
Now I am suddenly aware of my misgivings,
in the whole of life and its many intricacies.
And like the only other thing which has given me regret,
Her, I feel it’s insurmountable, the ever increasing debt. -What debt? This is a metaphor that needs to be expanded. As well, may be think about letting the word "Her" be its own line, to give it the emphasis it deserves. Just a thought.
Will both my quandaries resolve themselves?
If I correct the other…
But is that another mistake my mind has made?
For even in the little wisdom I have, failure spreads it odour. -What does failure smell like? Again, this is something you should expand upon.
Either I reject life, along with you, and everyone else,
and stop subjecting myself to this cursed fate. -The phrase "cursed fate" seems a bit cliched to me, so I would suggest rewording it.
But if I vanish how will I know?
If finally you agree to date, -I feel like more of the poem should address "her" more. I say this because on the first reading I didn't realize this had anything to do with dating until I got to this ending.
Me…

I look forward to seeing where you take this from here.

Cheers,
Richard