04-09-2018, 04:00 AM
Mythbusters: Elephant lofting
First catch your blue whale.
Keep it alive. Feed copious amounts
of krill, 2,000 tonnes per meal.
Carefully insert prepared
butt plug. Be prepared to wait
up to five years.
Meanwhile train your elephant
to stand while you custom-fit
a balloon made of cellulose fibre
and spider web to encompass it
entirely.
When whale flatus appears imminent
(a good cook will learn to recognise
the signs) attach neck of balloon
to butt plug. Timing is important
to avoid accidents.
Then take bets on whether the fart
will propel the balloon through
the ocean, break surface, and loft
the elephant into the sky.
First catch your blue whale.
Keep it alive. Feed copious amounts
of krill, 2,000 tonnes per meal.
Carefully insert prepared
butt plug. Be prepared to wait
up to five years.
Meanwhile train your elephant
to stand while you custom-fit
a balloon made of cellulose fibre
and spider web to encompass it
entirely.
When whale flatus appears imminent
(a good cook will learn to recognise
the signs) attach neck of balloon
to butt plug. Timing is important
to avoid accidents.
Then take bets on whether the fart
will propel the balloon through
the ocean, break surface, and loft
the elephant into the sky.