Second Edit: Ordinary
#10
I know you're letting this sit, hope you don't mind a comment or two. 

(03-07-2018, 10:23 PM)Richard Wrote:  First Edit:

Ordinary


There are old fears like Bela Lugosi's
threatening accent and strange clothes,
or the dread of sirens, head under desk- < Nice sound + image line
a curse against those godless Reds.
Then there are timeless fears: a spider < I like these timeless fears. Agree that one more of them would be good.
tickling your leg until it bites,
heights that nauseate worse than sour milk.
There's courage too, usually arriving < The courage would have to arrive at the right time while the uncle arrives at the worst time, right? They don't both arrive at the worst time.
at the worst time like your mother's uncle,
who smelled of garlic and could only talk
in the language of the old country.
Pardon me if I didn't follow the courage bit correctly. The last few lines are great. Nice work.
"The best way out is always through."-Robert Frost
dwcapture.com
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Messages In This Thread
Second Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 03-07-2018, 10:23 PM
RE: Ordinary - by Tiger the Lion - 03-08-2018, 12:59 AM
RE: Ordinary - by Richard - 03-08-2018, 09:08 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Knot - 03-09-2018, 03:14 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 03-09-2018, 12:25 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by FP123 - 03-11-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 03-12-2018, 09:33 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Suzruth - 04-02-2018, 01:58 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 04-02-2018, 08:51 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by danny_ - 04-03-2018, 11:26 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 04-08-2018, 09:42 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by danny_ - 04-08-2018, 01:45 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by allisonkreid - 06-24-2018, 09:21 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 06-25-2018, 01:53 AM
RE: Second Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 06-26-2018, 09:27 AM



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