04-03-2018, 11:47 AM
Hi danny,
There's a double meaning to the portion you highlighted in your latest critique, which could've resulted in its abstract delivery.
I'm afraid if I use "come" instead of "came" then it'll sound like something that visits the N regularly, which isn't what I'm going for.
I switched "on" to "to".
I haven't even thought of the "get away's" like that. I'm tempted to add another indentation now haha
Best, Alex
There's a double meaning to the portion you highlighted in your latest critique, which could've resulted in its abstract delivery.
I'm afraid if I use "come" instead of "came" then it'll sound like something that visits the N regularly, which isn't what I'm going for.
I switched "on" to "to".
I haven't even thought of the "get away's" like that. I'm tempted to add another indentation now haha
Best, Alex