|
Second Edit: Ordinary
|
|
04-02-2018, 01:58 AM
The title is strong, I think because it may make the reader wonder. I really enjoyed the sounds in the first stanza, and maybe think it could use a punch like in the second stanza with the sour milk. I felt like throwing up a bit haha. I like the ominous presence of the uncle in the third part, which goes back to the beginning with Lugosi. I think it's excellent brevity because there is so much to imagine in so few lines. Nice work!
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Messages In This Thread |
|
Second Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 03-07-2018, 10:23 PM
RE: Ordinary - by Tiger the Lion - 03-08-2018, 12:59 AM
RE: Ordinary - by Richard - 03-08-2018, 09:08 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Knot - 03-09-2018, 03:14 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 03-09-2018, 12:25 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by FP123 - 03-11-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 03-12-2018, 09:33 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Suzruth - 04-02-2018, 01:58 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 04-02-2018, 08:51 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by danny_ - 04-03-2018, 11:26 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 04-08-2018, 09:42 AM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by danny_ - 04-08-2018, 01:45 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by allisonkreid - 06-24-2018, 09:21 PM
RE: First Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 06-25-2018, 01:53 AM
RE: Second Edit: Ordinary - by Richard - 06-26-2018, 09:27 AM
|
