03-27-2018, 03:43 PM
Ok... Your rhymes seem forced and labored, the point is dragged on without any new insight, and tbvh, the theme is super duper extra cliche, as cloud was happily pointing out. There's nothing wrong with writing about love, there's nothing wrong writing about anything, and I'm not saying that you should have these great and new way of looking at things that no one else has done, but you seem to be caught in these typical poetic fluxes, rather than letting your own subjective experience take over.