Dreamer’s Eye

[danny_]

I like this dreamy nature atmosphere.

Drawing back,
relaxed
where croaks echo back. 

I know "echo back" isn't entirely logical, because echo back to what? But it could be back to your thoughts and awareness, so I like it.

Soft dew curdles in the sun,
firm skin boils the droplets
of water exposed to mud,
washed away by singing rain
felt not as pain
but gentle scraping,
gnawing on
the bark which shields
infant plant warriors
from dastardly breezes.

- I can't quite picture dew curdling. I come close to imagining shrinking. But curdling would give me an image of lumping...? What's it supposed to look like?
- Now firm skin boils the droplets is either the skin of blades of grass or leaves, or the surface of mud. If it is mud, I don't see how it is exposed to the mud. I imagine it resting on the mud, secreted by the mud, evaporating on the mud.
- But then it rains, so it's all gone back to wet again.
- Next we have insects involved somehow?
- I'm sorry to get so logical, especially on a poem about dreaming. You have the right to be abstract here.

The sky,
neatly tucked above
in folds of white
turning violent gray
before it closes
so hazy in the day.

This is a neat image of the sky. Perhaps, for the last line, "in the haze of the day."

Fall back to bed,
the dream has ended.
The storm has passed
and is now beginning.
Living life at night,
in the eye of the storm.

I agree with Richard about this last stanza. At least, simplify a bit. (Did it pass and begin right after because of the eye? Or another kind of storm is beginning? I don't have any idea.)

Pleasant sketches and imagery.