When upon your heart my eyes did lay

[cloud]

If you are the only one who can see the diamond in the rough, that's great - but so what?
I have a pet peeve with prioritizing compassion in one's writing because it tends to cloud any sort of meaningful depth
No insights, no nothing, just cliche and boring.

Besides that, there seems to be a redundancy in places, dragging things out longer than they should be.

When upon your heart my eyes did lay 
Hiding and feeble yet calling my name ✓ Please go into depth about this, it would have been a better theme
Drawn to its beauty yet broken and sharp 
Somehow you used it’s edges to sew up my heart x
this is where things went downhill

Blackened and battered by years inhumane 
Bruised by the heartless, by the sick and depraved
Beaten down by depression a cruel trick of fate
Wanting for love, yet filled with self-hate 

But it’s not all I see when I look deep inside
I’m entranced by the beauty that you try to hide
I see a survivor, one depression can’t beat
Someone without whom I would be incomplete
I see kindness and compassion despite all you’ve been through
I’m not sure I’d still be like that if I were you

You took your broken and cared for my own
Walking this path no longer alone
Together we’ll face whatever in the future might lay
Darkest of night, or brightest of day my god, you really love cliches 
Stronger together, never to part 
Ever since the moment my eyes first laid lay upon your heart