ALEX CHANCE MCCONNEL

[dwestmor]

I think it would be better like this “you would have been a joy I know you’d have made me proud but life didn’t really give you the chance to come around”

I really enjoyed your post. I too have lost a child so I know the heart ache that can leave. However, in the spirit of critique, this section here 
"You would have been a joy
I know you'd make me proud
But life didn't quite give you the chance 
To really come around "
Feels a little forced and it made me read it a couple of times to really get what you were saying because I had lost the rhythm.

Do you think it would be better if i took out the word quite?