High Choice - edit2

[Richard]

Hey Duke,
I like where this poem takes the reader. I do have some thoughts though:

High Choice

Two men ride bareback, unprotected -I'm not sure if you need bareback and unprotected. I would just pick one.
high above a level polder
working manfully to fix -The word "manfully" seems important to me. Is there a way you could start or end the line with it? I suggest that so to give it some extra emphasis.
a windmill-turbine generator.

Blades run wild, stripped gears ignite
old lubricants---black smoke,
a flaming halo traps the pair. -I like the use of "halo" here. It sets up the "Grace" at the end and is also somewhat ironic.

They hug, as men will in extremis. -Now this is my biggest suggestion for the entire poem. Why not rearrange this a bit, and start with this line? This line would catch the reader's attention much more than the current opening, and all you would have to do is change to past tense in the previous two stanzas. Just a thought.

Then one leaps for fear of burning
and one burns for fear of falling. -This is a great payoff. It's so dark, yet so human. I just love these two lines.

Grace. -I get this line, and I like it, but I like the last two lines better. Personally, I would end the poem with the previous two lines. They're just a stronger ending.

Two men ride bareback, unprotected
high above a level polder
working manfully to fix
a windmill-turbine generator.

Geartrains rupture, safeties crack---
blades whip, grease and insulation
blow black smoke,
a flaming halo traps the pair.

They hug, as men will in extremis.

Then one leaps for fear of burning
and one burns for fear of falling.

Grace.

Inspired by somewhat garbled reports of an incident.  "---" for em dash (borrowed machine).

Overall, I like what I'm seeing here, and I look forward to seeing where you take this from here.

Cheers,
Richard