High Choice - edit2

[ritwiksadhu33]

Hi dukealien,
    This is quirky little poem I quite like. Here are some thoughts.

High Choice


Two men ride bareback, unprotected
high above a level polder unprotected how?
working manfully to fix nice word that. Brings out the whole stereotypical masculinity thing.
a windmill-turbine generator.

Geartrains rupture, safeties crack--- 
blades whip, grease and insulation
blow black smoke,
a flaming halo traps the pair. This listing of technical details seems to be wanting a prelude - just my opinion though.

They hug, as men will in extremis. dramatic contrast with the images of the first stanza.

Then one leaps for fear of burning
and one burns for fear of falling.

Grace. As in mercy? Interesting. This line also syncs up with title pretty decently, so it's a good finish.

Inspired by somewhat garbled reports of an incident.  "---" for em dash (borrowed machine).

My quibbles with this one are mostly related it being somewhat of a summary of the incident being narrated. Somehow, I feel that the impersonality of the description hurts the ability of the poem to create drama through the comments/observations being made. Otherwise it works well.