Da's Gone Grey like Ma

[Leanne]

Hi Johnny, welcome aboard.  I'm moderately confused by the dialect -- the prayer/blessing is Irish but the rest of it sounds Scottish -- and yet your title starts the journey in Belfast -- ach well, I'm just going to assume Celtic fan and not worry about it anymore

I enjoyed your poem.  I'd like to see it a bit more strongly sensory so that the memory comes through more clearly.  

Go n-éirí an bóthar leat
Go raibh an ghaoth go brách ag do chúl
Go lonraí an ghrian go te ar d'aghaidh
Go dtite an bháisteach go mín ar do pháirceanna
Agus go mbuailimid le chéile arís,
Go gcoinní Dia i mbos A láimhe thú.

Aye well, left didn't I?
A cacophony followed

"Ock aye, -- och or ach is the more usual spelling
but y'll be back won't ye
lad?" -- this is a poignant contrast to the prayer, a pleading really

Ma washing a wardrobe
for all occasions, a sea
of white linen, salt caked -- salt-caked
shirt cuffs, starched collars -- maybe a comma here
trousers rolled just how I like
'em, an her frail hands
rattling aul suitcase packed
ever so gently... -- evocative scene but mostly just visual -- I'd really like to see the addition of some other senses in this to set the reader right in the poem

Da driving me till the station,
ain't seen the aul bastard cry,
nat seen 'im since...

"Y'll be alright son,
remember 'ure catechism  -- is this your catechism or our catechism?  I only ask because on the next line you spell your as yer, and if it's our then I'd suggest the more usual spelling of oor.  Dialect is hard
an don't forget yer prayers"

Fifty six and counting,
grey like ma, suppose
her colour went early,
his took a little longer.. -- three dots for an ellipsis -- oh yes, I'm really that pedantic!

Not hard to imagine, -- is this line really needed?
things don't change,
time just keeps ticking
and they just keep on
keeping on. -- bit of a cliche here that throws me out of the moment

And until we meet again
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand. -- I think these lines are well known enough in Gaelic to use that as a bookend instead of shifting to English, but that is probably just a personal thing