Metal
#2
(02-23-2018, 01:21 AM)Wjames Wrote:  Cold gleaming silver
imprints on the skin
above your heart.

Four years of iron
wither like a pick up
left to rust.
Not to spoil anyone else's take/interpretation, only expose my own (ignorant) one...

I see the badge and the service pistol - wives of policemen complain (including those who are officers themselves) about "always that iron between us."  As musical accompaniment, something resembling "I walk the line."

But I could be  utterly mistaken (g).  Very good:  the rhythm, which is perfect.  Tiny suggestion:  I'm reading "pickup" for "pick up," as in light truck.

Beautiful.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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Messages In This Thread
Metal - by Wjames - 02-23-2018, 01:21 AM
RE: Metal - by dukealien - 02-23-2018, 06:23 AM
RE: Metal - by Tiger the Lion - 02-23-2018, 06:56 AM
RE: Metal - by nibbed - 02-23-2018, 07:19 AM



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