02-09-2018, 04:00 PM
hi rave, while one line feedback could [i say could] pass in the novice forum as reasonable feedback, they don't in mild to moderate, as of now i've not allowed 4 of your posts, this post only being allowed to give you a heads up/mod
(02-09-2018, 12:02 PM)Rave Wrote:(01-23-2018, 06:45 AM)alexorande Wrote: Romanticism, AbandonedI enjoyed the original version but found the first stanza a little too abstract for my taste.
Time bends and deceives promises
made when we were headlong and young,
as pools of light elude rawboned men.
Will lettered years have taught me how
to siphon water from light?
Reflections ripple, altering this face into
a stranger's, glowing beside yours. I wander
in stretching steepled shadows, cast by
unsung ghosts, a wayfarer far from home.
Now I'm older than my parents
when they surrendered moonlit flings
to the garret's cobwebs and dust to wipe
our tears and dress our scrapes.
It's time I learned practicality
when there is no grey of truth
daubed on my palette.
I apologize if there's any confusions in the name changes. I'm trying to find a fitting one.
Previous titles: Where to Meet-- Rendezvous
