Edit 7: Reflections in St. Augustine
#11
(01-23-2018, 06:45 AM)alexorande Wrote:  Romanticism, Abandoned
 
Time bends and deceives promises 
made when we were headlong and young,  
as pools of light elude rawboned men.  
Will lettered years have taught me how  
to siphon water from light? 
 
Reflections ripple, altering this face into  
a stranger's, glowing beside yours. I wander 
in stretching steepled shadows, cast by 
unsung ghosts, a wayfarer far from home. 
 
Now I'm older than my parents  
when they surrendered moonlit flings  
to the garret's cobwebs and dust to wipe 
our tears and dress our scrapes.  
 
It's time I learned practicality  
when there is no grey of truth  
daubed on my palette. 

Edit 3: Romanticism, Abandoned
 
Time bends and deceives promises 
made when we were headlong and young,  
as pools of light elude rawboned men.  
Will lettered years have taught me how  
to siphon water from light? 
 
Reflections ripple; wishes conjure  
your face, glowing by a stranger's, who 
wears my bleach-stained sweater. I wander 
in stretching steepled shadows, cast by 
unsung ghosts, a wayfarer far from home. 
 
Now I am older than my parents 
when they surrendered moonlit flings 
to the garret's cobwebs and dust to wipe 
our tears and dress our scrapes.  
 
It's time the painter learned practicality  
when there is no grey of truth  
daubed on his palette. 

[pre verse]
Edit 2: Romanticism, Abandoned 
 
Time bends, deceiving promises  
made when we were headlong and young,  
as elusive light pools to lost and thin men. 
What major will teach me how to siphon  
water from light? 
 
Within its rippling reflections, I recall 
your face, glowing alongside another's; 
you had found someone else. I wander 
in the timeless shadow of the Notre-Dame, cast 
by nameless ghosts, a wayfarer far from home. 
 
Now I am almost as old as my parents 
when they surrendered moonlit flings 
to the garret's cobwebs and dust, to wipe 
our tears and dress our scrapes. 
 
It's time the painter has learned  
practicality when there's no grey  
of truth daubed on his palette. 


Edit 1: Romanticism, Abandoned
 
Time bends, deceiving promises  
made when we were headlong and young,  
as elusive light pools to lost and thin men. 
What major will teach me how to siphon  
water from light?  
 
Within its rippling reflections, I recall 
your face, glowing alongside another's; 
you had found someone else. I wander 
in the timeless shadow of the Notre-Dame, cast 
by nameless ghosts, a wayfarer far from home. 
 
Now I am almost as old as my parents 
when they surrendered moonlit flings 
to the garret's cobwebs and dust, to wipe 
tears that streamed over scraped knees. 
 
It is time the painter has learned  
practicality when he does not have  
the grey of truth to dip his brush in.


Original: Romanticism, Abandoned
 
Time bends and deceives promises  
made when we were headlong and young,  
as light's elusive pools to lost and thin men. 
What major will teach me how to siphon  
water from light?  
 
Within its rippling reflections, I conjure 
your face, glowing alongside another's; 
you have found someone else. I wander 
in the timeless shadow of the Notre-Dame, cast 
by nameless ghosts, a wayfarer far from home. 
 
Now I'm almost as old as my parents 
when they surrendered moonlit flings 
to the garret's cobwebs and dust, to wipe 
tears that streamed over scraped knees. 
 
It is time the painter has learned  
practicality when he does not have  
the grey of truth to dip his brush in.



I apologize if there's any confusions in the name changes. I'm trying to find a fitting one.
Previous titles: Where to Meet-- Rendezvous
I enjoyed the original version but found the first stanza a little too abstract for my taste.
Jason Robert Marshall
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Messages In This Thread
RE: Romanticism, Abandoned - by nibbed - 01-24-2018, 02:25 AM
RE: Edit 1: Romanticism, Abandoned - by nibbed - 01-25-2018, 01:55 AM
RE: Edit 2: Romanticism, Abandoned - by Knot - 01-29-2018, 03:34 AM
RE: Edit 4: Old Romantic - by alonso ramoran - 02-02-2018, 02:59 PM
RE: Edit 4: Romanticism, Abandoned - by Rave - 02-09-2018, 12:02 PM
RE: Edit 4: Romanticism, Abandoned - by billy - 02-09-2018, 04:00 PM
RE: Edit 5: For Galleries - by alonso ramoran - 02-11-2018, 04:00 AM
RE: Edit 6: To Display - by alonso ramoran - 02-25-2018, 10:03 AM
RE: Edit 6: To Display - by Knot - 02-26-2018, 12:19 AM
RE: Edit 6: To Display - by Lithe17 - 02-26-2018, 04:58 AM



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