A Stone in Fields of Green and Blue

[therabbitisme]

Hi yimbus,

Thank you for your critiques. I totally agree that "enough" is repetitive. Same with "stare", but it might be better if the last usage was "two that gaze inside of me". I also agree that the usage of "of me" seems a bit awkward, maybe even childish. I see how the penultimate line might be confusing, but I sort of intended the jumbled wording to convey the contradiction of somebody else "owning" your consciousness. Great advice regarding uppercasing, as well, I appreciate it.

Thanks again!