As alive as it needs to be - Edit 1

[tectak]

As alive as it needs to be
 
A man came out of the storyGood start. By not defining we anticipate an explanation. "Drawn in" is the expression
The leaves covered him and the light was..."covered him and the light"? or..perhaps "...covered him, and the light was scattered..."
scattered in the eveningPunctuate to clarity. You are doing yourself a dis-service because of inconsistency. Readers will think you do not because you cannot.
My garden is overgrown, he wailed,Quote marks. He may have wailed but THAT is speech.
But he wasn’t as alive as he needed to be.But me no buts...there is no conditionality to warrant the contra. There is no but about it. Omit the word and use punctuation. 
Only the bushes believed him, the birds,
and flowers, the conversation playing out in their mind.Awkward sentence structure. Like a train with the engine in the middle you are pushing and pulling at the same time. "Only the bushes, birds and flowers believed him. The conversation played out in their mindS.(OK, anthropomorphising bushes, birds and flowers may just work...but it is not a good habit to get in to unless you are a pretender to metaphysics) 
Here, things run after other things, blitzing through the airNo, no , no. I realise that mild crit is what you are after but how to say that this line is threadbare...er...mildly? Where is here? If we knew that then we could envisage, perhaps, what "things" are liable to be blitzing about getting body...better yet, you could show us using imagery, metaphor asnd..asnd...well, you get the idea. Things chase things? Sheesh...
so they have bodyWhy do they have body because they blitzed? Why does a mouse when it spins? The answer to these, and other questions.... 
Essential oils are floating on the surface
We have captured an instant and call it imitation.There is something good here. I wish you would work on it...or at the very least punctuate it. You really are a metaphysical poet...er...nearly. This striving to understand reality is complex. It defeats the best philosophers and drives some poets mad. Sadly, poetry and what is quintessentially, these days, a scientific monopoly, just do not readily mix...they are essentially oil and water. Seriously now, this poem...devoid as it is of metre, rhyme and worthy punctuation...is an extended metaphor for something. I do not know what, but suspect you are going to tell me later. Could you not do so in the poem? 
Imitation as alive as it needs to be, an artBack to the core issue but what is it? If you were to translate this for me I would ask you to write out the translation and scrap the poem. That is not a derisory suggestion. It is what we all do...it is called communication. 
Of being others: being at many places
Many places being one.Entanglement...oh, to be a proton, now that summer's here...there...and everywhere.
The grass grows over things left out.
One day we will hide here.I am not up to translating this and I find the out-dated capitalising of every ( or worse, random) line  a distraction and an irritant. It further complicates what I feel is a very good "thought". Frankly, I think you have failed yourself more than the reader...only you can correct the one....and I the other. Your poem.
The forest is but a name
for things we don’t know, but as alive
As it needs to be.Damn it...this stanza is so nearly a poem in its own right. I would make this the opener and just expand on it. The man who came out of the story did, after all, come late. 

If I read this right it is a miracle of comprehension...If  have it wrong it's your fault....but we are both forgiven.
Best, 
tectak