02-01-2018, 02:27 AM
Good one, indeed. Very fun read, and I really love your idea of construction paper "in the beginning". HA!
A slight suggestion:
So, the children said, let there be glue,
enough to cover the whole earth.
We will join the trees–-
paper shapes to table, cabinets,
floor, and baseboard.
It is not good for anyone
to be alone. In our imagination
let us make some people together:
I just dropped "it is not good" to the next S, and made "humans" "anyone". Also suggesting "make" vs "bind". It just didn't seem that the (less) animate things would mind being alone as much as the human: ie Adam...
Anywho, just suggestions. You have glued together a good piece, and I'm actually fine with your original.
Well executed. Very cool idea,
Mark
A slight suggestion:
So, the children said, let there be glue,
enough to cover the whole earth.
We will join the trees–-
paper shapes to table, cabinets,
floor, and baseboard.
It is not good for anyone
to be alone. In our imagination
let us make some people together:
I just dropped "it is not good" to the next S, and made "humans" "anyone". Also suggesting "make" vs "bind". It just didn't seem that the (less) animate things would mind being alone as much as the human: ie Adam...
Anywho, just suggestions. You have glued together a good piece, and I'm actually fine with your original.
Well executed. Very cool idea,
Mark