01-29-2018, 07:59 PM
Quote: Todd Wrote:
Hollow Oscillating
it took me a while to figure out what was intrigueing about the first line.. til i realized it remembered me of "chaff separated from wheat"
Quote: Lizzie Wrote:
Depression Pendulum
this is a beautiful re-write, like todd´s.. and i realize the original poem maybe was a hard starter because of its multiple themes (the one you put in for "y" is better that way)
Quote: milo Wrote:
Swinging Pointe
a pretty cool idea, painting a boat, respectively a bowl with slant lines.
and it´s thought-provoking, the last stanza forms a loop to the beginning.
Quote: CRNDLSM Wrote: ...an untitled sonnet
i still wonder what you would have written had i not attached that plea to leave "Noah" out..
but anyway, i really don´t know how you shaped a sonnet so fast!
love the last two lines (esp. the last but one), a clear conclusion after a captivating battle of ship against ocean.
Quote:rayheinrich Wrote: .... the wombat version of hitchhiker´s guide through the galaxy
TINY details, yes, like mutated wombats and alien technology : )
but this gave me big grins, especially the male fascination with technology and female reckless driving.
Quote:Donald Q Wrote: .... the continuation of above saga (in real-time)
...and this was a fun read as well (and, damn, returned in little more than 30 min).
"he burped quietly" is both funny and a bit pensive,made me read the sentence before again.
Quote:nibbed Wrote:
Atypical Review
i liked what you made (in your 3rd stanza) from the musing about difficult to digest food in the previous version.
had to look up zing and tang, and now i want to try that stuff (probably won´t find it.. but rhubarb is available, and chili, and what more could there be in it except for salt, vinegar and sugar?)
Quote: Keith Wrote:
Under Review
i guess with some people when they set their speech production center to "rhyme" it just comes out as rhyme : )
that was an entertaining read, too.
...