01-27-2018, 12:34 PM
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.” - Ernst f Schumacher
I understand that you want a poem that is ambiguous and complex, but if you are consciously trying to make it more complex then you should back off a bit. I like some of the imagery and tone, but as you mentioned basically every word has some deeper concept or context needed which while it may be beautifully done to you, it’s near impossible to read by anyone else. Simplify your words and make them flow better. Don’t strain to make complexities but instead just let them come to you. Whenever I write, I try to just write the entire thing at once without looking anything up or pausing. I get a rough concept then clean it up. Don’t pick your poem apart piece by piece and try to make everything over complicated. You shouldn’t be writing with a purpose to impress anyone with your knowledge or use of poetic devices
I understand that you want a poem that is ambiguous and complex, but if you are consciously trying to make it more complex then you should back off a bit. I like some of the imagery and tone, but as you mentioned basically every word has some deeper concept or context needed which while it may be beautifully done to you, it’s near impossible to read by anyone else. Simplify your words and make them flow better. Don’t strain to make complexities but instead just let them come to you. Whenever I write, I try to just write the entire thing at once without looking anything up or pausing. I get a rough concept then clean it up. Don’t pick your poem apart piece by piece and try to make everything over complicated. You shouldn’t be writing with a purpose to impress anyone with your knowledge or use of poetic devices