In the Beginning
#6
(01-22-2018, 11:45 AM)Lizzie Wrote:  In the beginning, there was construction paper.
The children said, let us cut it into shapes:
triangles for alligator teeth,
ovals for panda tongues,
rectangles for orangutan feet.    

Color and water seeped into the paper,
while the crafter's sand remained
on the surface.

There were sequins, buttons,
pom poms and pipe cleaners--
all separated from each other
according to size and hue.
And the children longed
to end their loneliness,                                   
the disconnection between elements.            i´d agree with todd that this line is not needed after loneliness. and drawing from your analogy, god would not be described as an element, so it slightly confused me.

So, the children said, let there be glue,   
enough to cover the whole earth.
We will join the trees–                                   a wonderful line.. it´s probably just a subjective interpretation of mine but it gave me a short flash of something like "god is in everything" as well as a dose of evolution.. when our ancestors joined the trees...   
paper shapes to table, cabinets,        if i get the analogy right paper shapes is creatures and table and so forth would be the earth.. if that is so i think you could do with one example less although it´s  neat to get a view of the chaos in the whole room while imagining the creation re-told on a different plane.
floor, and baseboard. It is not good
for them to be alone.                              i wondered if it could simply be "to be alone"


And we will bind humans together into one:     maybe you could go without "humans" (seems like a word children wouldn´t use) and just write "we will bind together "   
hand to hair, fingertip to palm
like us. One likeness for each child.

Then they said, let us cover our creations            
in glitter. They saw that it was good,                     "in glitter" drew a big grin over my face ..  and it works as a metaphor as well   : )
and reveled in their creations without rest.
...
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Messages In This Thread
In the Beginning - by Lizzie - 01-22-2018, 11:45 AM
RE: In the Beginning - by Quixilated - 01-22-2018, 12:34 PM
RE: In the Beginning - by Todd - 01-22-2018, 02:01 PM
RE: In the Beginning - by RiverNotch - 01-22-2018, 10:16 PM
RE: In the Beginning - by Knot - 01-23-2018, 01:09 AM
RE: In the Beginning - by vagabond - 01-23-2018, 05:15 AM
RE: In the Beginning - by Lizzie - 01-23-2018, 06:22 AM
RE: In the Beginning - by Bocasi - 01-29-2018, 12:01 PM
RE: In the Beginning - by Lizzie - 01-31-2018, 07:00 AM
RE: In the Beginning - by Mark A Becker - 02-01-2018, 02:27 AM
RE: In the Beginning - by Lizzie - 02-04-2018, 02:43 AM



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