01-13-2018, 02:47 PM
Vagabond, this is an interesting poem, at first, i wasn’t too keen on the hello! and though i’m still not loving it i think it works. There are some errors. Robots don’t really try to do anything, they do or they don’t. So, i don’t like “i’m trying” i’m glad you edited it. However, the robot, as is stands, is a little too forceful and heavy handed. The robot knows what it is doing, instead of being programmed to do it. Or maybe it is just a little too certain. It’s as if the speaker wants/needs her audience to buy in, but is so certain of the outcome the reader wonders why the speaker wants the buy in.
For most of the poem, the speaker exudes confidence, but in the last stanza expresses doubt. I guess intent is everything, but i’m not sure of it in this case.
For most of the poem, the speaker exudes confidence, but in the last stanza expresses doubt. I guess intent is everything, but i’m not sure of it in this case.