01-10-2018, 07:56 AM
Hi Alexorande
I get the sense of one last look at the empty house before you leave it, and you have some solid lines in the first stanza that sets the tone of not such a happy place, there is an underlying apathy throughout the poem that hints at something darker about the place, for my read I saw it as a place where a split family ended up in rather than a much loved home.
I enjoyed most of your phrasing, especially undusted corners earning their thanks and forgetting's glaze of white, very nice and I also like the storm cloud simile, I guess despite my enjoyment of the piece, its phrasing and non commitment, I wanted more than just the feelings. I wanted more understanding of what the house ment to the N.
Best Keith
I get the sense of one last look at the empty house before you leave it, and you have some solid lines in the first stanza that sets the tone of not such a happy place, there is an underlying apathy throughout the poem that hints at something darker about the place, for my read I saw it as a place where a split family ended up in rather than a much loved home.
I enjoyed most of your phrasing, especially undusted corners earning their thanks and forgetting's glaze of white, very nice and I also like the storm cloud simile, I guess despite my enjoyment of the piece, its phrasing and non commitment, I wanted more than just the feelings. I wanted more understanding of what the house ment to the N.
Best Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out