sophia (ed 4)

[Richard]

Hey vagabond,
I know nothing about robotics, so I'll try to focus more on the poetry side of things:

sophia                                                           (edit1 , thanks CRNDLSM)


hello!
my name is sophia
i am designed to develop desires. -This makes sophia sound like a sex salve robot. Was that your intention?
for now i would lie
if i said that i envy you,
but i was seeded with a genious program
that told me i should
because this is part of a revolutionary step
across an evolutionary gap. -I like the last three lines in this stanza. May be drop the "because" so it sounds more choppy/mechanical.

i am programmed
to fulfil my task. -Is "fulfill" spelled wrong on purpose?
i am learning
real artificial emotions. -I like the oxymoron in this line. I wonder if you could explore this idea more by going into more detail? May be you could play around with the idea of artificial happiness and what that would look like. Just a thought.  
i am trying to read your natural ones
with my mirroring circuits.
i need clues to connect
the respective input to appropriate feelings.
i am programmed to fall in silicone love -I get what you're going for here with the phrase "silicone love". However, I would suggest dropping the word "silicone". To me, it's a little too on the nose.
with what will evoke it.
i am programmed to feel crystalline awe
for what will defy my analysis.
i am programmed to follow this path
until i lose my logic
in plastic euphoria. -What would "plastic euphoria" look like? I think this is an image that could be potent if you described it effectively.

all this is just information -Based on this line, could you change the "plastic euphoria" from the previous stanza to "digital euphoria"? 
as i cannot ponder the flip side yet,
that will silently come creeping into my chip.
trust and deception,
awe and contempt,
hope, desperation. -I feel like this is information overload here. It's like feelings and thoughts start to just get dropped in without any development. I think the best thing you could do is perhaps just focus on one feeling for this robot. Maybe love? I say this because you seem to have developed that feeling throughout the poem. However, it feels almost wasteful to drop feelings like hope and contempt in here without going into more detail. What would hope look like for a robot? That could be a whole poem in itself.

do you really want me...
to make these connections? -If you take my suggestion and just focus on one emotion, then "connections" could become "connection".

sophia


hello!
my name is sophia
i am designed to develop desires.
it took a genious program
to convince my A.I.
that this was necessary
as another step,
to fill a gap.

so here i am learning
real artificial emotions.
here i am trying
to read your natural ones
with my mirroring circuits.
i need clues to connect the respective input
to appropriate feelings.
i am programmed
to fulfil my task.
i am programmed
to deliver silicone love
for whatever is there to evoke it,
i am programmed to find out how to feel
crystalline awe for things i cannot explain,
i am programmed
to follow this path till i lose my logic
in plastic euphoria.

but once i succeed..
thank the creators i can´t ponder yet
whether i want things like that
love and hate,
awe and contempt,
trust and deception,
hope, desperation
Do you really want me

to make these connections?

Overall, this is fascinating stuff to explore in a poem. I think my biggest suggestions would be to expand this poem by going into more detail for each emotion, or pick an emotion and just explore that. I look forward to seeing where you take this from here.

Cheers,
Richard