01-02-2018, 10:39 PM
I want to start by saying how lovely this piece is. I felt a connection with your words and correlation with the 'constellations', your reference of feeling at peace is something I also connect with.
I am new to this site and after reading many other comments on various poems, it helped me tremendously to not only improve my own work but to recognize areas in others poems that could use improvement.
With your piece, I honestly wouldnt change anything you have already written. I would maybe consider adding another line describing the feeling of 'peace' you feel from star gazing. It will capture more of a mental image of what you are feeling. This will allow the reader to connect more with what it is your poem is expressing.
Best of luck! I truly enjoyed this
I am new to this site and after reading many other comments on various poems, it helped me tremendously to not only improve my own work but to recognize areas in others poems that could use improvement.
With your piece, I honestly wouldnt change anything you have already written. I would maybe consider adding another line describing the feeling of 'peace' you feel from star gazing. It will capture more of a mental image of what you are feeling. This will allow the reader to connect more with what it is your poem is expressing.
Best of luck! I truly enjoyed this