Verdunt

[AttnAttack]

rigid and changed into something hopeful at the same time? i don´t understand this reasoning yet, so it didn´t change mine.
but still, thanks for explaining. "i will show you fear in a handful of dust" is a powerful line, indeed.
yes it´s a cycle but maybe not that positive. i once saw a graffiti in prag, a lying figure 8 as a symbol for infinity and the figure´s shape was composed of tanks and excavators following one after the other.

Meant that I can change a word or two, but I don't want to tear away from the allusion too much.  If I said "My God, it's full of Farts" you might still get the 2001 space Odyssey reference, but if I said "the room, by God, smelled of farts" it would be lost.  Kinda like that.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your help! The final version is what i'll leave up here.  I am at the point where I am completely satisfied with the poem and do not wish to change it any further.