Notes On A series Of Hallucinations

[shemthepenman]

Quite intriguing.  Hallucinations are difficult, much more so than dreams, though easier to remember.  A few years back I was in a space where I could hallucinate almost at will, a few times a week, without drugs.  No longer, though.

Your hallucinations seem dream-like in that, though you can move forward to progress through them, you can't react (though you can decide, ineffectively, to react).  In mine, I could make decisions and act on them (same with dreams, though usually to "opt out" by jumping off the roof instead of being terrorized by falling).  But in dreams, firearms never work properly (Freud would have a field day with that one!)  They become thick and clumsy, as you describe in your second note.

Wondering if the thought about cowardice came in or after the hallucination.

Do you ever chain hallucinate, that is, pick up where a previous vision ended?

hello,

just to be sure, these are all events that happened a long time ago. i don’t take hallucinogenic drugs any more. i got to a stage where i was guaranteed a bad trip. and it just wasn’t fun. this last one in the series was pretty much the beginning of that trend. i would see dead bodies a lot, and they would pile up around me and i’d be drowning in dead rotting bodies. everything just got really dark. 
i never had hallucinations link up directly, but there were definitely themes and elements that transferred from hallucination to hallucination.