12-14-2017, 04:40 AM
Hi ckeo,
I really like the rhythm this poem carries itself with, but my main problem with it is the lack of punctuation, or rather, inconsistent punctuation. I'm completely fine if this poem was supposed to have a loose feel to it, therefore calling for the omission of punctuation and caps, but the usage of it seems to be something the writer is not sure about. E.g. "A dilapidated structure" begins with a capitalized "A" but there's no period to conclude the previous line to indicate a's capitalization. You had some great sensory details in S3 & 2 especially, with the frost and standing waves. Overall, I enjoyed the read.
Best, Alex
I really like the rhythm this poem carries itself with, but my main problem with it is the lack of punctuation, or rather, inconsistent punctuation. I'm completely fine if this poem was supposed to have a loose feel to it, therefore calling for the omission of punctuation and caps, but the usage of it seems to be something the writer is not sure about. E.g. "A dilapidated structure" begins with a capitalized "A" but there's no period to conclude the previous line to indicate a's capitalization. You had some great sensory details in S3 & 2 especially, with the frost and standing waves. Overall, I enjoyed the read.
Best, Alex