Heavenly Refinement

[nibbed]

I

The sky split that day
when He reached down
and gently took her up.

All that was left
was stiff and lanky, an empty shell
for others to manage.

My mind went adriftin',
even though I knew
she's now better-than-ever:

an Irish girl, old from the smoke
with grayish, green, sea-glass eyes,
muted and smooth,

now she's twinklin' her shiniest
burst o' life, peridot marbles;

none of us can see them, not here in this arena
where we start out strong and end up weak,
always sweaty-wrestlin' Light vs. dark.

Her tangled tiara of thick grey fuzz hasn't room
for even a memory in that residence of Light,
where everything stays fresh
and crowns earned will be happily thrown:

no sin, rust, or moths can gobble anything up;
there's no fear, no trippin' on rugs, no broken hips,

today she's springin' a jig, crystal River Dancin', bouncin'
curly locks whose energies gleam brighter
than the smiles of hungry villagers watchin'
wagons heap in golden wheat.

Her wrinkles melted away, warm honey, boastin'
cheek's freckles, she once hated,
now win grandest pageants
against the glitterin' shimmers of angels' faces.


II


I got reeled in last night with a special gaffe.
Pulled from my wanderin' afar on a Melville raft,
"Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian".
It made me laugh, then reminded me, I am neither.

I wonder sometimes
when God reaches down
His Shepherd's stick,

what does His staff look like to Him?
Does it sparkle like snow,
gently shoot warm points of Light
that it might gently nudge us in love?

My Heavenly Father, He fluffed
all my pillows last night, tucked me in,
whispered thunders through a young preacher
hidden in reserves, unswayed by man's religiosity:

"And ye shall seek me,
and find me, when ye shall search for me
with all your heart."




Inspired by God's Word
Jeremiah 29 KJV

hi nibbed,

what i get in part 1 is  faith in an afterlife..  it´s almost too detailed a description for me..
concerning stanza 6:  strong/ weak is such a relative term. sometimes it seems like the stronger, the more damage is possible. i think light vs dark in human terms is only what we make it up to be.

in the first stanza of part 2 you might write" it made me laugh and thank god i was neither." (if that should suit your purpose).
the second and third stanza (of part 2) are probably hard to write.. because how would you imagine something that can´t be imagined.  i´d like part two better without them if i´m honest.
or maybe,  you might try to formulate the questions that are being answered in your last stanza, something like "would i be able to recognize ..".
concerning the young preacher: there is either a specific purpose i don´t get or it seems a little distracting.

p.s. i saw that you found a place for "sea glass" in  this poem.
i have a question:  wrote a little thing on sea glass,  i guess i had to when i saw your comment, but it still feels like your  metaphor. if you´d enable your pm function for a while i´d send it.  or if you would agree i could post it in one of the forums together with your comment to reference its inspiration.

Thank you vagabond for the kind consideration of critiquing my poem. I kept changing the preacher part because I couldn't find the right words without giving too much away, giving the wrong impression, or making it seem superficial. I may have to rework it.

Thanks for noticing the sea glass part. You had encouraged me when I was feeling low and I wanted to use it but i didn't know how—then a thought of Sharon's eyes once dusty, now new, came to mind. I would love to see what you have written in a poem and you are more than welcome to use it and make it your own, it would seem a privilege and honor to me.


-nibbed