Conversing with Dust

[Quixilated]

Finish Up

Keep going
it'll be one less thing to do
a minute from now.





original

Conversing with Dust

Keep going
I tell myself
it'll be one less thing
you'll have to do
in a minute.

Hello, I'm a bit late to the party and I know you've already done the snipping and pasting ...

But I loved the original title, it was my favorite part of the poem, it was the thing that kept catching my eye and bringing back to the piece.  It made me visualize the narrator muttering out loud a bit. In the actual poem the narrator is not actually directly addressing the dust, but just the visual of the narrator muttering out loud "keep going ..." when there is no one else there it is rather like he/she is speaking to the dust as much as to him/her self.  I do like the shorter version of the poem though.  And if you did want to put the original title back on (don't do it for me, of course but I mean just if you did all on your own for other reasons) then you could make it like this and it would sound a bit like the narrator was perhaps talking to the dust after all sort of co-conspirator style:

Conversing With Dust

If I keep going
it'll be one less thing to do
a minute from now.

Anyway, and either way, I do like this piece and enjoyed reading.