11-23-2017, 08:21 AM
like u need more crit right?
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the difficultest state
of mind to enter with sincerity— (neato enter with sincerity, not pin number)
but none's more needful, dissipating hate: (nice nnnns terrific tttts)
contrition's naught, forgiveness verity.
Apology can help: it soothes a sting
of felt injustice, disrespect perceived— (sssscintilating sss's pleasing pppps felt/percieved nice sensey stuff)
but begging for indulgence cannot bring
release, unless forgiveness is received.
Still harder is a case where some will not
apologize because they stand accused ( sssssuper esses in stanza)
of what their grandsires did, or their race wrought,
who rightly feel their present selves abused. (oh u live in australia as a white guy too huh?)
But there, relenting's trouble isn't lack (hmmm relenting's????? i auto-spoke relentless)
of true confession, but that letting go
of vengeful motivations for attack
would leave a void—snuff out a warming glow. (no fire like the one u burn ur witch with)
And this is why forgiveness benefits
not each recipient but its free donor
whose soul it liberates from ancient writs
to daily live in unforced peace and honor.( oh like burning ur bible then doing everything it says?????)
good stuff, good philosophy, unveiling of the portrait of forgiveness personified etc
question 'relenting's' but i'm a self taught idiot so do as u please
probably go well at a uniting church in the outback of australia as the pre-prepared sermon for a visiting speaker, tho the black guys in the back row might boo and hiss, after all u inherit ur ancestor's debts of guilt here subtle rhymes like slippery snake in eden
liked it lots
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the difficultest state
of mind to enter with sincerity— (neato enter with sincerity, not pin number)
but none's more needful, dissipating hate: (nice nnnns terrific tttts)
contrition's naught, forgiveness verity.
Apology can help: it soothes a sting
of felt injustice, disrespect perceived— (sssscintilating sss's pleasing pppps felt/percieved nice sensey stuff)
but begging for indulgence cannot bring
release, unless forgiveness is received.
Still harder is a case where some will not
apologize because they stand accused ( sssssuper esses in stanza)
of what their grandsires did, or their race wrought,
who rightly feel their present selves abused. (oh u live in australia as a white guy too huh?)
But there, relenting's trouble isn't lack (hmmm relenting's????? i auto-spoke relentless)
of true confession, but that letting go
of vengeful motivations for attack
would leave a void—snuff out a warming glow. (no fire like the one u burn ur witch with)
And this is why forgiveness benefits
not each recipient but its free donor
whose soul it liberates from ancient writs
to daily live in unforced peace and honor.( oh like burning ur bible then doing everything it says?????)
good stuff, good philosophy, unveiling of the portrait of forgiveness personified etc
question 'relenting's' but i'm a self taught idiot so do as u please
probably go well at a uniting church in the outback of australia as the pre-prepared sermon for a visiting speaker, tho the black guys in the back row might boo and hiss, after all u inherit ur ancestor's debts of guilt here subtle rhymes like slippery snake in eden
liked it lots