prayer

[Mopkins]

aprreciate advice -admirable etc thanks for the time taken

(staggers out of toilet booth - hic)

doubled up the dunny paper so it doen't drag on the tiles



An Earnest Prayer


I pray to my unknown editor on the cosmic throne

to once again whip out the pen before I start for home


and edit out profanities unfit for tots to read

and blot out parking tickets and those illicit weeds


restore me to my former form for form no longer fits

and censor things done at the pub and with whom those things were did


remember all the golden stars I got for being nice

and let me cash them in for stuff at a wholesale price


let my pin number unlock the pearly gates

and let me in ambrosia bar to drink with all my mates


let me gawk at the dead poets and  their eloquentest muse

give me at least a scarecrow's brain don't let me stay confused


let me in the library to read which rules to break

and correct my karmic debt when I make a mistake


be nice to my ma and pa and my old uncle bob

give paddy a jug of mead and let him be a slob


don't let all my ex-boyfriends move in up the street

let there be fast food next door so I'll have stuff to eat


let me have fast internet a decent pc too

and let there not be too much stuff like cleaning up to do


don't want lots of concubines or feasts or streets of gold

don't want a fancy mansion to retire in when I'm old


don't want an attic full of stuff  I gave away before

and let me have nice big boobs and do not let me snore


don't want the fingernails or hair that I got clipped off back

and poke me with a pointy stick when I get off the track


give me a cute angel who whispers in my ear

and give him lots of decent lines don't let  him be a queer


smooth out the mound of debt pay off my funeral plan

let the kids inherit both the baked beans and the can


let my mates pay the bar tab at the wake before they go

I leave the old man to the dog she was his favourite ho


tell the tarot reader I expect my money back

once I get back down the stalk I clambered up with jack


let me flog the golden dove that lays expensive eggs

and once again, nice big boobs and also slender legs


don't incinerate me with your bright white light

and let me get away with stuff we've always got on alright


don't let me get cigarette burns on my heavenly robe

let me design my own split level recycled wood adobe


let me have a hay-barn big enough for a hoe-down

and let the blessings rain from high when I start to frown


let me be photographed with the apostles and the saints

but don't give them my record unless there's white-out paint


let me not need to pee forever after more

and let me skip sunday mass if the priest's a bore


don't put me into purgatory to roll boulders uphill

let me achieve nirvana without illicit pills


ask someone to feed the cat clean the canary cage

sell my old unlicensed car plant bulbs upon my grave


don't weep for me when I'm gone I'm probably having fun

tearing up and down the golden streets giving God a run





ok almost absolutely over editing again