Edit 5: Sailing to Tawnydale

[Achebe]

Sailing to Tawnydale


Sweetgum balls, acorns, leaves, 
and pine needles are scattered  
in the shapes of  
 
                        dragon footprints.  ..........hard to picture acorns in the shape of etc - why not just “scattered / like dragon etc”?

Tree sap aromas fill the air like cinnamon. ....first “the”’not needed. Use something else in place of Fill the air”
Squirrels scurry across twisted boughs of gold,
ignoring monotone requests from trees to stop.
Some respond in laughter through their cheeks, 
plump as grapes; at times they end up choking.  .....I like “plump as grapes”
The trees just sigh into the breeze. 
 
Tiny grumpy men in pointy red hats 
hop in and out of burrows big as pumpkins, 
who rarely talk with anyone except for when 
they're talked to by bands of mounted knights, 
who travel roads and crack jokes that echo  
in their armor, followed by laughs that belong  .... “followed by” ?
to someone with a stomach  
           or any organ, for that matter. 
 
Bipedal shepherd dogs who raise 
livestock and tend farms, occasionally ask 
their scarecrows' how they're holding up 
and would hand them cool leftover okra stew— .....nice
made with everything reaped beneath the sun  
and a never-setting harvest moon. 

Where the stars stumbled drunk from the sky 
and fell upon those ochre mountains laughing, 
is where the giants drink their kegs of mead, 
in taverns booming full of song and laughter. 
 
I was in my room, 
sketching all about you. From my desk, 
throughout the sun's climb, I heard
the buzzing noise that sounded like 
a lawnmower cutting grass. .....mysterious ending

Nice one
Needs editing. Have pointed out some instances. Some word choices are rather heavy handed but otherwise enjoyable