First Edit: Sunday School

[Todd]

Hi Richard,

Here are some thoughts for you.

Sunday School

I
Wine sipped in an unlit room,
to spill any is a sin.--I like the "i" sounds in this opening. I guess the truth of this content of this specific line would depend on the sacramental theology of the speaker. I take from this a Catholic or (certain) Anglican view which believes that the Eucharist (holy communion) contains the real presence of Christ.
The mug shapes the liquid--mug seems like a slightly off choice to me.
like a good parent should.--This is a nice line because it joins the moment with the idea of upbringing.

“Father, is it Christmas yet?”

“Father, when is Easter?”--These questions to me feel like they introduce a problem. You are introducing a very young speaker and then juxtaposing it with a reminiscence of sorts. I think this would be stronger as one position or the other. If you wanted to you could riff 1 Corinthians 13:11-12 and you could frame these reflections through that sort of filter.

Old questions I'd like to think
are make-believe.--Not a bad sort of sequence but the earlier questions do not provide any sort of tension to make this a satisfying payoff.

II
Silence gives answers I'd rather ignore,--This line is great and would be improved with better questions.
darkness supports it with a devilish smile.--don't like the "it" here.

The light comes on, flickering like his stutter,
salvation a lie my parents sold me
so they could buy a paper from their priest.--this feels like a later reflection and suffers from it.

He used to leer at me, they never noticed.--don't like the second phrase. They never noticed is telly as opposed to showing them deliberately or stupidly not noticing.
My blonde hair flowed through his fingers
like gold at the end of a rainbow.
My tears the rain that ruined it,
their anger thunder without lightning.--I like this sequence especially this line to show the thunder sort of anger.

III
I am a snowflake
in spring,
pushed away
by god's breath,
surrounded by those
who only care
about their descent.
I will fall
and melt.--There's something really interesting about this section. I think it might have been what you were writing toward. It can stand totally on its own but it's close.

IV
The wine burns now,
the whole way down,
even worse when it comes out.
There is staining, my hair is white,
untouched.

Unanswered prayers dead in the grass,
the body dismembered, violated,--feels like one two many adjectives to me.
unrecognizable to loved ones.
I'm the one who found the corpse,--This feels like it should be the first line of the strophe or the last one.
thought it sleeping,
played tough with the authorities
only to cry myself to sleep,--I've heard this before and it loses impact. This should be ending strong but it feels like its losing steam.
afraid to dream.

Just some things to consider.

Best,

Todd