Can't Sleep

[Hannah]

I really like the energy in this. It feels almost frantic and I found myself feeling like it was supposed to be read very fast, almost in a panic. I think the longer lines even added to that, in a way. It also feels like it is meant to be spoken more than read. Which makes me wonder if you have read it out loud to yourself? There are just a few places where the wording kind of trips over itself and doesn't flow as smoothly. And as I'm reading it again I'm wondering if even changing up your line breaks in a few places might fix that.

Also here:

For some reason I hear this beat and I just can't sleep
I go out into the dark night, I run, and run as my legs
battle in this fight, energy below zero hoping I can sleep tonight but as I reach

(Bump, bump, bump, bump)

I still can't sleep right, what will it take to reverse my fate,
for now it's unknown so I'll just wait, maybe when the beat stops I can rest in peace.

This is the only place you put the "bumps" in what appears to be the middle of a thought, which threw me just a little. Is the line after the "bumps" the continuation of that thought?