Tints and Shades

[nibbed]

Hi, CarrieChristo. This is an interesting poem.


Tints and Shades

I’m forgetting what you looked like
without pixels tied to color
but I always painted you a cherry hue                              -can "but" be taken away?

 and I remember when I noticed                                        -
that your cheeks were more like thunderstorms        
Puffing, pouting, always passing through.                        

I forget how my legs mixed with yours        
atop my tired mattress
and if they’d clap along like waves                                       -this word "clap" seems obnoxious                    
or melt like sun
But I remember how you’d stare                                          - here's that "but" once more
[you’d smooth your lips and pat my hair
and laugh when I told you that I was scared]                    - "that" can be taken out, but these lines have good rhythm here
 you’d run.

Yet here I lie in sheets that I have                                         -minus "that", again
piled mountains deep
In the hope their cotton bleeds into my skin.                    -this is very brave to me
[Curves and caves lie low
nostalgic undertow, awaken]                                                - my favorite lines
Crawling hunger howls within.

While sunlight sashays against my wall
 and I breathe in patterns known                                            - I am imagining voice patterns
I know that time has welcomed change                                 -"that"
Encrusting mossy stones.                                                  
Bringing to fruition the awareness                                         -fruition kind of puts a bump in the flow , maybe disregard the "the"
I have grown
 but how you’d laugh and pat my hair                                   -I want to replace the "and(s)" in these twin phrases with commas
 when I warned I would lie alone.
 


Thank you for the read. I enjoyed this poem.
Have a blessed night.

-nibbed