schlafes bruder

[Youi]

The main thing I noticed is your use of punctuation. I'll mostly explain what I think about that below.

schlafes bruder   The title is not capitalized. Therefor I expect that consistency to remain throughout the poem.               


my lids turn heavy, tired times, The consistency is satisfying here. I personally don't care whether a poet chooses to use proper punctuation or not, until I read through all the commas
pale midnight calls me with low chimes, Your line breaks usually express breath and pause automatically, so I think I'm spending too much time pondering on your use of commas than the context of the poem. I don't think the commas are necessary, or grammatically correct. One thing to try is writing these lines out as sentences and seeing what you get.
she guides me with seducing notes,
and in the fog, an ancient boat. This period indicates and end of a thought, which I think would be more successful if you eliminate punctuation and break this part into separate stanzas.
the ferryman leans at the railing
asks if i ever have gone sailing. <<
i shake my head, he pities me. <<
“close your lids” says he “and see”. <<
the ocean was behind my eyes,
if only i were deaf and blind. << In each of these parts, the whole thing would be smoother exercising line breaks instead of punctuation. 

That being said, the lines "i shake my head, he pities me.//'close your lids' says he 'and see'." sound forced. It looks like you were focused so much on the rhythm that you overlooked its affect. The way it is worded sounds satirical.

but whispers mumble through the sea:
“with me no force has hold on thee,
no vow required to earn my trust
and not a thing here is unjust.
things cruel I will all strip of meaning I think the word "cruel" is a bit of a cliche.
just ask and you can find reprieve. The word "just" breaks the rhythm in an awkward way, and the two lines together are worded in garbled way. 
my place is warm, you´ll never chill
no doubts shall ever chain your will
here you can fly with broken wings Bound-up wings? Wounded wings? Via consistency of the tying metaphor.
and play love´s song on ruptured strings.
it´s all you need, untie the lace,
the last residual restraint”

a gasp for breath, confused, awake,
sheets gone, the fallacy decloaked.
no anwers in this foggy sea,
it only would erase the queries. I've jumped to the end because it's a very important part of your work. I just noticed how the sea is the end of your poem, and the word itself ends the rhythm openly (I'm having trouble remembering the devices I'm talking about). da-DA-da-DA-da-Da-da-DA = "no anwers in this foggy sea"

You end the entire poem awkwardly with a closed-ended word: "queries" (DA-da). It doesn't settle well, and if I spent more time focused on the context then maybe I could see why you chose to end this way. But since I think the open-ended word sounds better, I suggest rephrasing it somehow and open with the word "sea".