Romantic Ideals (explicit language)

[Richard]

Hey Nabbit,
Welcome to the site  

I actually like what you're going for here. However, I feel like the rhyme and some of the language choices hurt the tone of the poem. The main metaphor of the poem seems dark, where as the language and rhyming makes it seem too light for my liking. I'll go into more detail below:

Romantic Ideals

If only I had a man so sweet -Why "so sweet"? This feels like it's worded that way just for the rhythm.
as the dog shit beneath my feet. -Why "beneath"? Again, this feels like a word choice based on rhythm.

How long he'd cling to my sole -I wonder if you could play around with using "soul" instead of "sole"? Just a thought.
doodyful in his fervent hold

that may be enough for me. -I quite like the enjambment of this line. It deserves the extra emphasis, and this is an intriguing line to end with.

I would be curious to see this poem done without the rhyming, but there are probably others who would disagree with this thought. I look forward to seeing where you go from here with this piece.

Cheers,
Richard