11-04-2017, 05:45 AM
Aw this is a sad poem. 
I like how clearly you conveyed the story you wanted to tell.
A lot of people in the thread don't like the bear in the trap line, but it's pretty clear to me what you meant by that. You're trapped in having to make this decision for your dog.
The "I hate myself, still get a lick" is a bit weird of a line. After a bit of thinking I realized it was your dog licking you, but the first thought I had was you were getting a lick of a whip. I guess you were trying to get the line to rhyme with "trick". Maybe try playing around with those two lines and see if you can convey the same idea with different words.
Pretty good though!
I like how clearly you conveyed the story you wanted to tell.
A lot of people in the thread don't like the bear in the trap line, but it's pretty clear to me what you meant by that. You're trapped in having to make this decision for your dog.
The "I hate myself, still get a lick" is a bit weird of a line. After a bit of thinking I realized it was your dog licking you, but the first thought I had was you were getting a lick of a whip. I guess you were trying to get the line to rhyme with "trick". Maybe try playing around with those two lines and see if you can convey the same idea with different words.
Pretty good though!