10-31-2017, 10:30 PM
Hi Knot,
Thanks for the detailed commentary/criticism! I definitely took it into account while working on the current edit.
I actually specifically wanted to write this piece as prose poetry, and am still working on how to make it flow better that way. I agree that the title doesn't do much (I'm always terrible at titles), but also realized that the summer section was there a bit gratuitously...so I took that whole section out. The focus really is meant to be spring, so hopefully the new edit reflects that better. Been having trouble trying to express the idea behind it all, so hopefully it's a bit more clear now.
Let me know what you think!
Thanks,
Lydish
Thanks for the detailed commentary/criticism! I definitely took it into account while working on the current edit.
I actually specifically wanted to write this piece as prose poetry, and am still working on how to make it flow better that way. I agree that the title doesn't do much (I'm always terrible at titles), but also realized that the summer section was there a bit gratuitously...so I took that whole section out. The focus really is meant to be spring, so hopefully the new edit reflects that better. Been having trouble trying to express the idea behind it all, so hopefully it's a bit more clear now.
Let me know what you think!
Thanks,
Lydish