10-20-2017, 04:39 AM
I really like the bumps. I feel as though they really jolt the reader out of the trance of the story. Just as you're getting settled int he sentences it pulls you out a bit, which I think really helps create a certain effect for the poem.
As for the actual sentence structures I would consider capitalizing every word at the beginning of the sentences. I feel like the look would be a lot nicer, have a better visual aspect to it. I definitely agree with breaking up the lines as well, I would almost break them up where the commas are, and just use that as the comma.
As for the actual sentence structures I would consider capitalizing every word at the beginning of the sentences. I feel like the look would be a lot nicer, have a better visual aspect to it. I definitely agree with breaking up the lines as well, I would almost break them up where the commas are, and just use that as the comma.