10-15-2017, 01:18 AM
I agree with dukealien - you may want to think about the "take a stand" part. Maybe you meant that you wanted to take a stand against the illness of your pet?
Also, I am curious about what's trapping you, and why you brought in the bear metaphor. Do you feel like you yourself are actually similar to a bear in some way? Because I didn't get that sense in the rest of the poem.
It's a sad ending, and it might be interesting not to stick with the rhyme there. Having the rhyme makes it feel a little like it's more cheerful than it's meant to be (to me).
I think it's a sad story, pet death can be so tragic.
Also, I am curious about what's trapping you, and why you brought in the bear metaphor. Do you feel like you yourself are actually similar to a bear in some way? Because I didn't get that sense in the rest of the poem.
It's a sad ending, and it might be interesting not to stick with the rhyme there. Having the rhyme makes it feel a little like it's more cheerful than it's meant to be (to me).
I think it's a sad story, pet death can be so tragic.