10-14-2017, 10:22 PM
A few thoughts
If this was meant to be spoken, the author should speak it. Bump bump bump bump has no beat and isn't a particularly interesting refrain.... I can't sleep followed by it wakes me seems like a logic error...
The poem is also very wordy. I'll just, I just, for example.
If this was meant to be spoken, the author should speak it. Bump bump bump bump has no beat and isn't a particularly interesting refrain.... I can't sleep followed by it wakes me seems like a logic error...
The poem is also very wordy. I'll just, I just, for example.