The Vision of the Balding Gent (Edit, title change)

[dukealien]

I felt I ought to comment, not to make any recommendations as I believe your level of poetry far exceeds my simple ditties, but to let you know how much I enjoyed it.  This is the type of work I aspire to be able to write.  I better get practising.  In my opinion, no changes needed.

That no one [else] seems to have quite got what I was trying to say (still not telling, though) shows this work is not so hot, really.

@all recent critics and commenters:  thanks for your help.  The idea of separating the second stanza from the first, perhaps as a poem in its own right, is intriguing... I actually wrote a bit of stand-alone doggerel trying to make its point, and that was well-received locally.  Still holding out for the two stanzas being related[em dash]somehow.