10-04-2017, 06:49 PM
Hi
I've removed the first line, I agree it didn't read right. I am a little unsure as to how to amend the other line .... I wrote it this way because the person it is written for is not a blood relative but ever since we were small we & our families have always referred to us as sisters ie not of blood, of heart ..... to me "of blood" indicates more that they are physical family not chosen family ..... if that makes sense?
I've removed the first line, I agree it didn't read right. I am a little unsure as to how to amend the other line .... I wrote it this way because the person it is written for is not a blood relative but ever since we were small we & our families have always referred to us as sisters ie not of blood, of heart ..... to me "of blood" indicates more that they are physical family not chosen family ..... if that makes sense?
(10-04-2017, 05:29 PM)Huckleberry Wrote: Hi,
I was not thrilled with the first version; my mistake, the changing of the first stanza makes a big difference.
In such a context, I would try to avoid negatives as
not of blood, of heart, (of blood more, rather...) may be that's me, and it's not my writing... Just a thought.