A Sense of Discomfort

[Richard]

Hey cloud,
I quite like this for the most part. There was a time when I was actually very anti-punctuation in my poetry, so I feel weird saying this. However, I would be curious to see an edit of this done with punctuation. I do have some other thoughts as well:

A Sense of Discomfort


man spits on the cringing world -This image effectively captured my attention as a reader. I just don't understand why the world is cringing. I could be missing something, it wouldn't be the first time.
he's seen nothing he can't understand
which has made him madder 
than what his mother made him -I love the image of the mother and her affect on her son. There's wonderful irony here because of the title, and the fact that story time should bring great comfort, but it has the opposite effect.
putting him to bed
to a story of time's turning hand
molesting his mind insane
like asking a child questions
to answers he already knows

I enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to seeing where you take it from here.

Cheers,
Richard