10-02-2017, 01:56 AM
Hi Duke, just thought I'd pass on that I read the first edit before reading the original
and the line that stood out (in a good way) was "your silence was not yet a barren tree".
I then read the line in the original. The edit lifts it to another level.
I stumbled a bit on: "broken shade all-encompassing". A suggestion is to maybe put
a comma after shade and ditch the hyphen, or: all-encompassing broken shade".
and the line that stood out (in a good way) was "your silence was not yet a barren tree".
I then read the line in the original. The edit lifts it to another level.
I stumbled a bit on: "broken shade all-encompassing". A suggestion is to maybe put
a comma after shade and ditch the hyphen, or: all-encompassing broken shade".